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Volume 3 (1858-1859) (592 pages)
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Page: of 592
DID I LOVE HER? :
BY AN OLD BACHELOR.
Many years ago—so very many that it
almost makes me dizzy to look back at
them—I was in love; so, at least, I fancied, though older heads insisted that it
was some other feeling. Well, Vl tell
you the story, and, when I have closed,
J may again have occasion to ask the
question: “Did I love her?”
It was, by all odds, the loveliest village in all Pennsylvania—the place where
Iwas born. I can see it now, with its
fine old trees and comfortable houses;
its hardy old people and healthy children ;
its neat, tidy, handsome girls, and strong,
active young men. The reader will observe that I indulge in none of the usual
fancy pictures here, for the purpose of
‘winning attention, When I say that the
old people were hardy, the children
healthy, the girls handsome, and the
young men hearty and active, I mean it.
I desire to present them in no other shape.
I had the reputation of being the wildest, most reckless boy in that quiet, beautiful, Heaven-favored village. Though I
never, in all my life, did any member of
the community an intentional injury, or
even had the remotest idea of doing so, I>
continued (why, I know not,) to keep up
the reputation just alluded to; and until,
perhaps, up to within the last year of my
residence there, the very children, as they
clustered around the blazing family hearth,
in the cold wintry evenings, were frightened half to death by senseless, unfounded
stories, in which I was, asa matter of
course, the terrible hero. As before remarked, I was not what might be called
a bad boy—neither am I considered a
very bad man. It is true that, during
my boyhood days, I was always full of
life, and that I occasionally loved ag
dearly to invent a little fun as to enjoy it
after it was invented. Itis equally true
that I was compelled to own up to every
wicked thing that transpired in town;
and, this being a position from which it
was impossible for me to back out, why,
I very naturally stuck my hands deeper
and firmer than ever in my pantaloons
pockets, and whistled much louder than
I might under ordinary circumstances.
But, what has all this to do with our
story? I will endeavor to show how a
misunderstanding, produced by the bad
name unjustly fastened upon me in the
village, hurried two innocent beings to
an untimely graye, and embittered the
life of a third, which might otherwise’
have been sweet. I will not attempt, nor is
it particularly necessary that I enumerate
all the charges laid at my door. I will
simply say that the Great Judge knows
how innocent I was. The old people
were too hard on me; but, as they now
sleep beneath the dear old trees that sheltered me in the spring-time of life, I have
not a harsh or unkind word to utter.
May they rest in peace! ;
Among the many girls in my list of
acquaintances, was one whom I at a certain period of life loved. Iwas going to
say I thought I loved her; but that would
hardly do. I knew too well—she knew
too well—God and the Angels knew too
well, I loved her as man seldom loves. A
little patience, reader, and I will proceed.
This is the love I spoke of at the start.
The good old time, with all its sunny
days, is upon me again, and my torn,
lascerated Heart, that has bled so long,
feels just as if it were about to melt.