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Page: of 272
GRASS VALLEY UNION NOVEMBER 14, 1871 231
assistance, but they can bear me witness that I made no public complaint, and the charges
made against Mr. Miller were not made with my knowledge. I was as much surprised to
see them as any one. If, in five years of labor and complete isolation from my relations and
the world, I worked with him, and not even my nearest neighbor or dearest friend heard
one complaint or murmur from my lips; if, through that long Winter in Portland I sewed
humbly day after day and night as long as I was able; passed the offices and residences
of our mutual friends, who were leading and wealthy people, and chose rather to let my
babies come upon the verge of starvation than to blemish his reputation by letting my
circumstances be known, [then] it is not likely that after the day of hope came and all was
over I should publicly make known what I had tried so hard to conceal. As I said before,
Mr. Miller felt that he had gifts of mind, and if his system of economy was right and hard to
endure, it was, at least a success; and if
HE NEEDED ALL HIS MONEY
to carry out his plans, I am satisfied that he thus used it. The bitter experience of the
past can not come again. My babes lived through it and I am more than satisfied. I am
grateful, and all is well. The absurd statement of the Eugene Journal that I had indignantly
returned money that Mr. M. sent me, is incorrect; and his informers are as economical of
the truth as they are of affection for their own flesh and blood. It would be a sad thing [for
me] to show indignation toward a father when his babies were suffering for the necessaries
of life. Joaquin Miller does not claim that he has ever sent a dollar to his children, or
provided anything for them in any way from the time of his leaving Oregon until about two
months ago, when he sent me $25. He has since sent $50 to Mrs. B. Cooke, for my little girl,
and $25 to my mother, who has the care of my younger children. He will doubtless make
explanations which will be satisfactory to those interested when he returns. It is true that
I had a home with my widowed mother, but the place was dreary and secluded, and there
was not a church or school-house within fifty miles of my mother’s house. So I did not deem
it a proper place to educate my children and I came away, bringing them with me, which
was contrary to the decree of the Court, which gave the two older children to the care of my
mother. As I brought them away, he was released by law from caring for them, and I have no
reason to complain, nor can any one have, justly.
TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS A YEAR
alimony was allowed, but as it was not secured you will readily see that Mr. M. was
entirely released from any obligations. The marital relations between Mr. Miller and
myself are dissolved, but that does not [preclude] our precious babes [from] mutual love
and protection; and, although there are many false sentiments in society in regard to these
things, I beg the privilege of exercising my own judgment in regard to my duty towards the
father of my children and my children. As we are both mortals, it would be affectation in
me were I to profess to take upon myself all the blame, but I ask to bear my full share. The
many who feel an interest in him are of more consequence than the few who know and love
me, and henceforth I would have you deal only with him as a poet and author. Pronounce
your judgment upon his books.
KNOW HIM BY HIS EPIC HEROES.
No mortal man can go beyond himself in any conception. When he attempts to he only
strikes against the border of his imagination and rebounds further back, and when man
attempts to imagine a god he takes a step back, and puts upon the shoulders of his god
wings which belong to a lower class of creatures. Good sometimes comes of evil; the most
deadly pistil exhales a delicate perfume, and our separation and sorrows produced the
poems of “Myrrh” and “Even So.” If I have, after all, recovered my health and sometimes
smile as others do, I feel that I have [received] some kind of apology. If I am not to-day the
shadowy, faded woman that might be expected, I beg pardon; and if, as a facetious editor